Constructing Getting Along 20 Sep 2011  1 Comment

Constructing Getting Along

Couples unresolved issues in marriage, can become co-parenting issues in divorce. Children can be caught up in the struggle, either directly or indirectly. Parents who are arguing, bickering and having difficulty talking to each other, should realize that they need to limit conversation and try using a different communication approach, for the “sack of the children.” Writing down relevant information in a calendar/planner format, can, most often, diffuse impulsivity, since parents must think before they act and take time to reflect and write down observations about the parent-child event. Does it work everytime; no, but it can be a start in “constructing a reality of getting along.”

The written report can be copied, emailed, faxed or mailed to the other parent, as non-emergency information about the event. The extra time it takes to write things down, can be the difference between an argument or a better way to share information. Over time, this approach can help parents develop tolerance, restraint and flexibility in getting along.

If differences of opinion develop regarding any written information, the time interval in reading, thinking and responding to the other parent, can usually result in more negotiable outcomes.

Communicating verbally can be a slow process and depend on each parent’s comfort level of how well they learned how to cooperate, negotiate and compromise. If there remains emotional issues that negate cooperative solutions, than professional help is a worthwhile decision, for the sake of the children. Constructing a reality of getting along is a far better solution than unresolved battles.

About the Author

Mel Kaufman

Mel Kaufman has been in the healthcare field for over thirty years, as a clinician, administrator and consultant in mental health. The article was written as an educational reference, regarding divorce.

Phyllis  23 Jun 2010

I love this site…it has helped me so much personally.
Keep up the good work….you are helping so many people who really need it!

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