Divorced Mother 17 Sep 2011  1 Comment

Divorced Mother

Divorce to me, was like a relationship death and I had to deal with the grief, associated with that death. Reading about grief and the different stages helped me to understand, that it was a process that took time to navigate and move on with the healing. It seems to me, that the denial stage is associated with how much you want the marriage to linger on, even though for all practical purposes it’s over. The reality of a divorce can be very hard, to understand, and I found myself trying to absorb it in doses, that I could handle. The anger stage seemed to last the longest for me, because in a situation like this, some one has to be to blame and that person needs to be punished. This stage in the divorce can be helped along by seeking a professional couselor, that can put things in better perspective and allow parents to focus on the children, and what is in their best interest. Here is where the stage of bargaining enters in and parents can begin to act like adults and negotiate in a business like fashion. The stage of feeling sorry for yourself, comes and goes and I think can be controlled by how optomistic you are toward the future. The present and future are the building blocks to a better life, after divorce.
As one moves through the stages of grief associated with divorce, the issue is whether to let yourself get so far in the mudhole of despair, that you can’t get youself out. Stages mean a process, a progression, a type of development. The journey is not easy, but the benefit to your child is well worth it.

About the Author

Mel Kaufman

Mel Kaufman has been in the healthcare field for over thirty years, as a clinician, administrator and consultant in mental health. The article was written as an educational reference, regarding divorce.

Comments
Mel Kaufman  9 Apr 2010

This article was written by a family friend, who is divorced with two children. She has recently remarried and was interested in sharing her experience about divorce with others, on this website.

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