Moving on 17 Dec 2011  1 Comment

Moving on

Divorce represents a judicial declaration of the dissolvement of the marriage, where the husband and wife are released from their marriage obligations.
When children are involved, the courts attempt to safeguard the continuation of parental responsibilities through a Parenting Plan agreement. It provides the legal structure of rules of conduct for parents. The term co-parenting or shared parenting becomes the all important core construct for safeguarding the future of the children.
Co-parenting issues during the post divorce period usually center on the extent of emotional baggage from the marriage, that each parent brings to the post divorce relationship. The parents must learn to work together through a change in perception. They must focus on reducing their reliance on past events, which are usually past failures and focus on the day to day challenges of doing the parenting job. Doing what is right for the child in the present, must overshadow past events and lead to the creation of the belief, that the present and future will be better than the past. This perception change will build confidence in doing what is right.
Thus a future oriented focus, rather than a past focus, will build confidence in day to day challenges, related not only to parenting, but also to changes in the family’s economic resources, social support and household stability. Extended family members can provide needed emotional support and elements of trust in others, that can lead to a better level of personal and interpersonal functioning.
Lastly, the initial parenting plan will change, as children get older. Periodic updating is an
exercise in life changes. Don’t be afraid of the changes, it is a testimonial of getting older.

This Website provides educational articles that may be useful in helping parents fulfill their parenting role after separation and divorce. Divorce parenting will require each parent, to establish a workable time management plan, that is compatible with the court approved parenting plan. The Co-Parenting Manager and Kids Time Manager are calendar/planners, that can make organizing, scheduling and documenting future quality time, manageable

About the Author

Mel Kaufman

Mel Kaufman has been in the healthcare field for over thirty years, as a clinician, administrator and consultant in mental health. The article was written as an educational reference, regarding divorce.

Phyllis Rubin  30 Nov 2011

Excellent article….well written and so true! Focusing on the future is the key….impressive!

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